Fillosophy

Material 01

Fabric.

Verdict: fails the test

You'll find the top tier pool floats choose fabric even though the science of using fabric doesn't add up. It's our opinion that fabric is used solely for marketing because it sounds fancy and lush. You'll find these big $$$ floats in many a Hampton's 2nd home. But like many products targeted at the ultra wealthy, it's all puff and no substance. If you were to rank fabric for float performance you'd be under water. We just don't see any positives.

Fabric when wet, or damp, is prone to mildew. Even chemically treated fabric for water use is much more likely to mildew and retain water than vinyl. Then why not just leave it in the sun to dry you ask?

Because the UV rays will break down the stitching first. Our testing reveals the stitching rarely lasts a season in the sun. Once the stitching goes, you won't even notice the fading fabric or decaying weaves. Here's the Catch 22 of fabric covered pool floats — drying out in the sun speeds up the fabric and stitching decay, while storing in the shade promotes mildew growth. This circular logic breaks down any fabric float long before a vinyl float is ready to retire.

Then there's the cleaning part. Fabric is just plain harder to clean than vinyl. We don't recommend any enjoyment of a MidMods float without a generous layer of sun screen. Lotions and oils will stain fabric. Then sprinkle on some pollen and outdoor grime. You'll be scrubbing till your fingertips bleed. Or you could just wipe down the vinyl with a damp cloth.

Material 04

Beans.

Verdict: fun concept, wrong execution

Another trend in the high end pool float industry is replacing air with styrofoam beans. They are branded with fancy names but at the end of the day the secret ingredient is the same stuffing found in a bean bag.

The styrofoam is extremely inexpensive to produce and extremely buoyant. The concept is fun as all hell. Oh, and no pumping required. We’re in!

We tested bean floats over a few seasons and discovered a few hidden downsides. Over time they lose loftiness and feel deflated. We were advised to top off with new beans seasonally to replace the smooshed beans. And it turns out the styrofoam itself won't hold water, but the space around all those little beads does. The trapped moisture leads to soggy floats, heavier floats, and mildew.

Note that a large float that can't be deflated is difficult to store off season. Because of their size, these floats are also more expensive to move around the supply chain. This is a cost that doesn't translate to value for the customer.

The real deal breaker is if (or when) you get a tear or a leak. This can be a real back yard disaster. Imagine tens of thousands of little styrofoam pellets blowing around the yard or floating in the pool water. Clean up on aisle back yard pool!

While vinyl floats are also prone to leaks, the escaping air won't mess up your pool equipment. Owning one of these bean bag floats can quickly become a big joke. And the joke’s on you!